Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I need a burrito and a hug.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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