Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
