I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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