mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
