the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Who died my cat blue again?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
