who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
A bitchslap is in order.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
