it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
