no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
