Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
