And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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