nut hugger
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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