Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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