went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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