Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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