I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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