Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
