you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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