they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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