I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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