today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I need to sanitize my soul.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
