is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
