guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize