i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
