names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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