This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
