i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
