Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I don't deserve a penis
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
