did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My penis needs a shock collar
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
