So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
