Got a toothbrush?
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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