are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
