first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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