we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
