Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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