yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
