I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
