I saw his package. It spoke to me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I wish there were birth control emojis
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
