You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
