You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
