can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Randomize
