that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
