so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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