hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sorry about my life...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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