who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
