The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
