I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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