I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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