Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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