dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How does it feel to date your dad?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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