Are we in a gay sports bar?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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