my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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