he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
